There’s no way around suffering if you want to be happy

(By Eldad Ben-Moshe ✨ Reading Time: 5 minutes)

A dear friend of mine confessed to me this week that she is having a very hard time.
It was really both beautiful and heartbreaking to hear her.
Human life can be so hard, you know?

It’s important to know and acknowledge this,
because you can’t have a better life without going through your pain
and acknowledging its existence.

Otherwise, you can have some happiness come and go.
But ignoring, burying, denying, and minimizing your pain doesn’t make it go away.
On the contrary, it makes it grow and fester, like the untreated wound that it is.

Let’s face it - human life is (terribly) hard sometimes.

Whether it’s ‘the system’ and external forces (corona, anyone?),
our emotions (fears, shame, guilt, anger, etc.), relationships,

the need and desire for safety and love,
the need to make a living while striving to be happy...

It’s a lot of a lot, and many times you just had enough of it all.

Mainstream ‘modern’ western culture doesn’t want us to acknowledge that,
and in many ways almost even doesn’t allow us to acknowledge that.

But deep inside you know, you’ve been there, you felt it, we all have -
life is hard, and many times we just had enough of it all,
we want to let go, it seems like it’s not worth it -

and that’s true to all of us, it has nothing to do with suicidal tendencies.
These are 2 separate issues.

But while the pain of life is inevitable, the added layer of suffering is an inside job,
we do it to ourselves - and we can stop doing that, or at least do it less often.
Significantly less often.

That changes everything.

There are ways to do that.
And you don’t have to do it alone.

Through many years of studying and practicing eastern and western knowledge,
modalities, and transformational practices,

I came to see some silver linings, some common truths
that can be found in all of the transformational traditions/paths that I have studied.

One of them is Learn -> Practice -> Experience -> Transform™.

I’ve never seen it expressed or taught that way, so streamlined and upfront, though.
That’s where my unique gifts, my voice - internal and external -
comes to play and brings its own unique, transformational gifts.

Through whatever higher power that works through me (i call it love),
I seem to be able to extract the essence of things,
see the building blocks of systems, models, and paths and bring order into chaos.

I excel at making things clearer, more ‘digestible’ and accessible, more understandable -
and to bring a quality of love, peace, presence, joy, simplicity, and harmony as I do it. 

I am far from perfect, and my ego intervenes as well, from time to time.
But teaching and coaching for many years now, in many different countries and cultures,
in different languages, studying and practicing different approaches and modalities,

I tell you this: 

Pain is real and inevitable.

Suffering is self-made, an inside job, based on fake news, and very unnecessary and avoidable.

Change is possible - not always easy, but always rewarding and more than worth it.

There are thousands of ways to reach such change,
thousands of different curriculums of the universal course,
to use the words of “A Course in Miracles.”

Most westerners are not inclined to trust a guru in everything he/she says,
and give everything and all of ourselves to them.

That is both because it's not part of the tradition we grew up with
(which also creates a trust issue) and because we want to understand.

And that is but one reason why for westerners,
the path of combining psychological and spiritual growth, together,
is the most effective path to happiness, less suffering,
dealing with life/our pain, and having a happier, better, more awakened life.

Some examples of other reasons are our need for at least some degree of control,
and our desire and need to know what's going on,  and why.

Still, you don’t have to do it alone.
It’s both easier and more fun to have loving help as you deal with it all
(even if it doesn’t always feel easier and more fun).

Human life is so hard at times. 
There’s no way around it.

You can bury it, deny it, paint it with colorful rainbows,
or chase your current dream in the hope that when you do that,
when that happens, when they or this or that will be different - you will be happy.

You tried it in the past, and it never worked - not in the long run, at least.

If you want to be happy, it’s time to be real, acknowledge the truth of it,
and stop looking for happiness where it is not. 

It’s time to roll up your sleeves and acknowledge, investigate,
and deal with your pain.

It’s time to learn, practice, experience, and transform.
It’s time for your better life.

It’s time for you to be the hero of your better life -
because nothing outside of you, and no one but you, can do it for you. 

Your happiness comes from you,
because both your suffering and your happiness are an inside job.
In fact, all human experiences come from within.

The choice is all yours, and only yours. 

This means there is no one to blame,
but also that you do not depend on anyone or anything;

You are not an unfortunate victim of circumstances.
You are powerful, not powerless.
You are the cause of it, and you are the solution.

This realization can be both frightening and empowering.

The way you’ll choose to see it is the way your life will be.
Be the hero of your happier, better, more awakened life. 
Become the salvation you’ve been waiting for.

 

Practical Actionable Steps - From Information to Transformation:

Find any ‘tool’, practice, teacher, or coach that you love and helps you,
and simply do the work it guides you to.

Oh, and have PATIENCE.
It's a process. There are no magic pills that work in the long run.

Remember the process is Learn -> Practice -> Experience -> Transform™.

The practice is the bridge between Learning and Transformation. 

And it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
It can be 5 minutes of sitting, breathing and practicing concentration & presence
(that’s a great practice, by the way).

So when you feel like you don’t want to?
Practice.

When you feel like there are other more important things?
Practice, even just a few minutes.

Practice and notice your resistance,
how many excuses and ‘reasons’ your mind will find for not practicing.

Practice and remember:

“You can have excuses, or you can have results - but you can’t have both.” 

- Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Regardless of what you might think of him,
he knows a thing or two about getting results...

Final note: You can do this! 

Keep it simple and joyful.

Take one baby step at a time.

Remember -

• Implement.

• Baby steps.

• Joyfully.
   

Done is better than perfect.

To your better life,
with tons of 💖

Eldad Ben-Moshe
Founder, Teacher, and Coach
Better Life Awareness Center

P.S.

Life is a journey of learning together, learning from each other.
You don’t have to do it alone.

Share your thoughts and questions with me by leaving your comments on this page or by sending me a message via our chat icon or our contact us form. 

I love hearing what you think and answering your questions.