18 of my best tips for a happier, better life
Aug 28, 2019
(By Eldad Ben-Moshe)
Loved ones ❤
We all want to live a happier, better life.
It’s simply part of human nature and psychology:
We want to avoid pain and gain pleasure.
We want life to be good.
And if it's already good?
We want it to be even better.
No shame or problem with that - it’s just the way our mind works.
So for my 43rd birthday, I decided to share with you some of my favorite tips and tricks for a happier, better life.
These tips are based on over 16 years of experience - practicing, studying, coaching, and teaching.
These are not theoretical tips.
Rather, all of them have been proven, some of them scientifically, to be highly valuable, transformational tips.
In other words - they are proven to bring real, significant results in one's life.
And I personally saw, and still see, the huge impact they have on mine and on the lives of my coaching clients and my friends.
To make it even more exciting and more practical, I’ll share my own practices and experience with you throughout this post where relevant.
2 notes before we start:
- These are general tips that are highly likely to work for anyone.
But not all tips work that way.
While this post gives tips that will probably fit just about anyone, there are many tips out there that are not relevant to everyone.
Even worst, they will actually make more damage than good to many people as they don't take into account our inherent differences.
For example, some people will benefit from finally allowing themselves to have more fun, while others will benefit from indulging less and taking on more responsibilities.
Give the wrong general advice to the wrong person, and you might have messed up their life real good.
So when you follow general tips, you want to know you are getting them from a reliable source.
Someone who knows what they're doing and assures you, like I'm doing here, that those general tips are indeed highly likely to work for anyone.
I give more individualized tips to my coaching clients.
One of the best ways of doing that is using the Enneagram, which offers a personal map of our personality, inclinations, and our automatic patterns.
In the near future, I'll be able to serve even more people with my online Enneagram course as well - keep your eyes open for that one, or join our mailing list to make sure you get notified when that happens.
The Enneagram is sooooo good that it's going to be both fun and life-changing!
But in this post, you're getting life-changing tips for a better life that are proven to work, and they'll work for just about anyone out there. Including you. - Make these a habit, a way of life.
How?
Step by step. Baby steps.
Choose one tip or a few tips that inspire you and implement over time (e.g., 3 months).
Then, upgrade them (for example, practice 10 minutes instead of 5) and/or add more tips from the list to your life.
But don't overload the system.
Baby steps are more manageable and easier to succeed in.
A short practice that you actually do is better than planing to do a long one but never getting to it.
The feeling of achievement, of success, is extremely important in the long run.
It will help you keep going, and will make you feel happier and accomplished.
All right, enough with that.
Are you ready for amazing tips for a better life?
Great!
So here they are -
18 of my best tips for a happier, better life
1 - Regular physical activity.
“One of the best predictors of happiness is how much we exercise.
Physical exercise has the same effect on our psychological well being as our most powerful psychiatric medication...
Physical toughness leads to mental toughness and resilience.”
-Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, Harvard University
That does not necessarily mean long and hard rigorous exercise, though. Physical activity can also be walking, dancing, more gentle forms of yoga, hiking, stretching, swimming, etc. And there is such thing as too much.
Find the one(s) that work best for you, and make sure to practice regularly to the amount that serves you best. There are no magic formulas; you'll have to play with it and see. But that's easy if you experiment using the baby steps approach.
Personally, I do yoga regularly, and add walks and swimming in a river/lake/ocean when possible, Iove stretching, even for a few seconds at a time. I wish I danced more, and that’s something for me to work on.
When I do these things, I feel so much better and more alive. And while my mind is an expert in finding reasons why I should not move my body, every time I choose against his 'expert' advice, I'm so grateful that I did.
Long term experience is the best proof and motivator.
2 - Remember what's good and focus on that.
Here's my practice: every morning, and every night before going to sleep, I name at least 10 things (and/or people) that I’m grateful for.
Additionally, before every meal, I pause for a moment, breath, connect, and express my gratitude as well (in more of a freeflow manner, not in a specific way).
This is one of the easiest, yet most effective things you could do. You are likely to feel the effects of this practice either immediately or within a short time.
In case you are skeptical - research shows this actually does miracles.
Click here to read The Comprehensive Guide To Gratitude:
10 critical benefits and 13 practices that really work.
3 - Morning ritual is real.
This is becoming more and more of a trend, but for a good reason: It works.
The way you start your day affects the rest of your day,
just like strong foundations determine the strength of a building.
Start it well, in a way that supports your mind, body, and soul,
and you will meet the day's challenges (and gifts) in a very different way.
I dislike the word ritual.
I call it morning celebration or morning ceremony -
both are words with a much happier, and even healthier, connotation for me.
But that's just me, and morning ritual is the going phrase so I'll keep
to that here for the sake of clarity.
My personal morning ritual (feel free to copy it):
❤ Drinking water (we dehydrated a lot during sleep).
❤ Going through my daily Course in Miracles lesson.
❤ Yoga practice.
❤ 10 things I'm grateful for (the above tip #2).
❤ Shower.
❤ Good nourishing vegan breakfast (look at tip #16 for an example).
❤ Planning my day.
✨ Pro tip: I avoid touching my phone and my computer until this part of the
morning. That is an incredible game-changer.
❤ And of course, tending to my baby boy anytime the need arises during all that.
This practice is not about being a yogi in a cave - it's about doing your practice in your normal, daily life.
(This is not where I do my morning meditation every day...
But I was lucky enough to do it over there once ❤🙏 )
4 - Find things you love and do them.
Remember baby steps? You don’t need to do a 3.5 hrs morning ceremony each day as I do.
Using the baby steps approach, choose things that inspire you, and dedicate at least a few minutes a day to doing them. Some things should be done daily, while others can be done just once a week. Find your personal mix.
To me, things that I love and were not mentioned in the morning ceremony include:
✨ Being in nature.
✨ Being in sources of water such as a river, the ocean or lakes.
✨ Hiking.
✨ Watching and playing sports games.
✨ Listening to (and playing) music.
✨ Spending time with my boy Matan (seeing him smile and hearing him laugh is
nothing short of a visit to heaven 😇).
✨ Laughing.
✨ Working (yes! I love my work!)
✨ And spending time with friends.
That's a pretty solid list of things I love doing. What's yours?
Take a minute and write it down. Let your mind bath in those things that make you happy. It'll be fun to even think of the things you love. And maybe you'll even get inspired to doing one of them now.
5 - Invest in your relationships.
This is about all kinds of relationships, not only romantic ones.
Some say relationships are the number 1 cause of happiness, health, and resilience. So it’s not only fun (and hard…) but also extremely important.
If you study people's near-death experiences, you learn that people on the verge of death are not sorry that they didn’t work more. Instead, they’re sorry for not spending more time with their loved ones.
So get out of your mind-stuff, your computer and your phone and engage with people. Technology is terrific, mind-stuff is inevitable. But we are social creatures. Even introverts like me. Find the balance that works for you.
My golden tip: Stick with the people you love, and make sure to make time for family and friends actively. Call, invite to meet, be proactive, make it a super important part of your life.
(My wife Erica and I on our wedding day ❤
But this is about all kinds of relationships, not only romantic ones. )
6 - Choose from love, not fear.
This is my absolute lighthouse, THE thing by which I navigate my life.
Everything in life is a choice between love and fear. I learned this from the Course in Miracles. But much like other teachings of this fabulous course, this one too is not always understood correctly.
In short - it’s all about your motivations, not your actions. The more you’ll choose from love, the more your life will become incredible. Guaranteed.
7 - Remember times and things, big and small, that made you feel “Oh, Yes! that's what life’s all about!”.
Have as many of them in your life as you can.
Do more of those, and look for the common thread that flows through all of them - that is a golden key to a happier, better life.
To me these moments show up when I’m:
❤ Immersing in natural sources of water such as a lake, an ocean or a river.
❤ In nature.
❤ Traveling.
❤ Hiking.
❤ Having fun with my boy.
❤ Sharing love with my wife, friends, and family.
❤ Laughing.
❤ Playing with animals (or even just looking at them.)
❤ And connecting to love/life/god/the divine/my soul (choose the name you like
best…).
The common thread?
Giving and receiving love, including to myself, and connecting to something bigger than me.
The more I'll have that in my life, I'm guaranteed to have a better life, no matter what.
(Did I mention I love nature and hiking? 😉
This is me at Torres Del Paine, Argentina)
8 - Invest in your spiritual and psychological growth.
In some traditions, this is known as “Know thy self,” which is indeed one of the best ways to ensure such growth.
The way to do that: find methods that you love and bring you results, and practice, implement.
In my case, these methods are meditation, The Enneagram, A Course in Miracles, spiritual practice and studies, and the B-AIR(™) system.
Aside from methods, books and other sources of inspiration can work as well (the Tao Te Ching does miracles for me), but be careful not to fall into information hoarding at the expense of practicing and implementing.
To quote the Course in Miracles:
"A theoretical foundation such as the text provides is necessary as a framework to make the exercises in this workbook meaningful.
Yet it is doing the exercises that will make the goal of the course possible.
An untrained mind can accomplish nothing."
Knowing more might make your ego feel better.
Practicing and experiencing will make you feel better.
9 - Listen to your inner guidance.
This can be tricky as it requires learning to distinguish between the voice of the ego and the voice of your soul/guidance/authentic self.
It is one of my main practices, and interestingly enough it's a major cornerstone in 2 of my most favorite tools: The Enneagram and A Course in Miracles.
If you master this practice, you are guaranteed to have a fantastic life and growth beyond your wildest dreams, for following the right guide never fails.
10 - Laugh. A lot. Out loud.
And spend time with children.
Their laughter and joy are contagious.
The positive psychological and physical effects of laughter are scientifically proven by now, so it's a no-brainer (and it feels so good, doesn't it?).
If I notice I haven't been laughing for a long time, I treat it as a sign that something in my life is not well, and a change might be a good idea. It's like the warning light in your car - a sign to stop, open the hood, and check what's wrong.
11 - Practice and cultivate present moment awareness and self-awareness.
Be mindful. Notice what makes you happy, what you want, what triggers you, what makes you jealous.
If you are aware of what's going on internally, life can't get you as much, and you're ready to be in the driver seat of your life.
If you know where you want to go, you can find a way to get there. If you know the pitfalls you are falling for again and again, you are more likely to overcome them.
And most importantly - If you know who you really are, and experience that all the time, your work is done. All the rest is sure to follow.
12 - Accept all emotions, including painful ones, and learn how to work with them.
Learn how to relieve painful emotions and how to live with them.
Learn how to stop creating your suffering.
Learn from everything that happens. Use it all to create a better life.
Accepting all types of emotions, you can still act to relieve them, but you don’t reject, deny, repress, or suppress them. Getting rid of painful feelings or burying them does not make you happy.
Even worst, suppression tends to intensify the problem. It's like sweeping the dirt under the rug - not only it's not cleaning the house, it creates a mound of ever-growing dirt that you'll have to deal with even if it's hidden.
The ultimate guide to the B-AIR(™) system (free download here) will help you learn how to :
✨ Relieve painful emotions.
✨ Overcome destructive beliefs.
✨ Stop creating unnecessary suffering in your life in 4 simple steps.
✨ And how to do that in a mindful, healthy way.
13 - Give more and volunteer.
This is not just a cliché. Givers are actually much stronger mentally than people who don’t.
I believe it’s because giving often requires overcoming our ego and our fears, and seeing others’ needs at least as important as ours.
14 - Sleep well.
Sleep is not only super fun and one of my personal favorite 'activities,' but it's actually proven to be essential both physically and emotionally.
Dr. Gabriel Cousens writes:
“Without sufficient sleep, people have significantly less serotonin in their nervous system. Serotonin creates a neuroendocrine safety net against stress and is thought by some to be responsible for maintaining mood balance…
Lack of sleep also contributes to aggression and anxiety…
There is no magic number for hours of sleep; depending on our constitution, we may need from five to eight hours, or even more, per night. The main idea is the regularity of a good night of sleep.”
Some of the above tips, such as the regular practice of gratitude and meditation, help a lot with sleeping better, especially when done right before going to sleep.
That's an excellent example of how these tips don't just stand on their own.
They actually intertwine with each other, creating a system, a lifestyle, that is holistic and greater than the sum of its parts.
(Me practicing one of my favorite 'activities'- the fine art of sleeping on the beach...
Life can be 'hard' sometimes! )
15 - Find the middle path.
Whether you like it or not, you are a part of a whole.
You are a part of the human race and of planet earth. This means you will have to deal with people and forces that are out of your control.
Being a part of a bigger whole, many times the best way to live a happy life is to know how to find the middle path - between my wishes and others’, between what I desire and what is, between what is and what’s possible…
Just like in a romantic relationship, finding the middle path is many times the very thing that makes the difference.
When you understand that it’s not only about you, and the more you put that understanding into practice, your ability to live with others and to deal with life’s inevitable events will improve, and your entire life will change for the better.
16 - Good nutrition, and lots of water.
Nutrition is vital for a healthy body and a healthy mind, and even for a healthy spiritual life.
Interesting fact: as cells in our bodies die all the time and are replaced with new ones, your entire body is built anew and practically replaces itself every 7 years (including your internal organs).
Your nutrition, what you eat, provides the building blocks of the new cells that build your body. Choose good building blocks for your body. Build a healthy, happy body by eating healthy, nourishing food.
(A breakfast of champions: Vegan yogurt from almonds or cashews, with dried mulberries, dried goji berries, cacao nibs, blueberries, strawberries, and peach. Yum!)
As for drinking, we all know the "why" by now. Our body is up to 70% water, and water is life. So that's kind of a big reason to stay well hydrated right there.
But even the slightest lack of hydration is likely to affect your mood, memory, concentration, and motoric skills. Brain Functionality is also impacted when you're not drinking enough.
The other part of the picture is what to drink. Clean, good water is the #1 choice by far. Natural, freshly squeezed vegetable and fruit juices are good as long as there's nothing else added to them.
Stay away from sodas and sweetened beverages.
17 - Experience the magic.
Magic is all around us- sunsets, sunrises, animals, babies…. It’s always there.
Make it a priority to notice the magic and to connect to it. The above tips will help.
18 -Don't just read tips- implement. Take action.
That’s when we learn the most, so that might be the most important tip.
Experiment, play with it all - and see what happens.
Take baby steps, remember why you're doing this (remembering your motivation is a game-changing key), and set reminders until it becomes a natural habit and 2nd nature like toothbrushing.
Final note: You can do this!
Choose the thing(s) that inspire you the most, don’t over-do it, keep it simple and joyful.
Take one baby step at a time.
Remember -
- Implement.
- Baby steps.
- Joyfully.
To your better life,
with tons of 💖
Eldad Ben-Moshe
Founder, Teacher, and Coach
Better Life Awareness Center
P.S.
Share your thoughts and questions with me by leaving your comments here or by sending me a message via our chat icon or 'contact us' form.
I love hearing what you think and answering your questions.
Life is a journey of learning together, learning from each other. So share your thoughts and feelings with me.
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